A friend of mine who takes karate, says she loves sparring, but that it is counterintuitive at first. Instead of running away from the fight, you're taught to go in towards your opponent--to move towards your fear. Only then when you get close enough to harm, do you also have the ability to strike and defeat your opponent.
1. Move towards your fears. Yep. Everyone has their fears...mine includes an intense fear of driving and public speaking. Someone I knew was phobic about eggs--no kidding. Whatever your neurosis, if you want to be brave, move towards the things that scare you with the purpose of showing it who's boss! (That would be you!)
2. Expose yourself. And by this I mean, be real, be vulnerable, let others really see you. The act of vulnerability is risky because vulnerability invites others in and I doing so, we risk rejection, judgement, ridicule. But you know what's even riskier? Not ever letting anyone ever really know us. Not ever knowing the intimacy of another soul connecting with yours. Not ever letting love all the way in and all the way through us.
Brene Brown says so much more, so much better, and you can find her here.
3. Tell the whole truth. This is along the same vein of exposing yourself, except it goes one layer deeper. Telling the WHOLE truth to the world--but most especially to yourself--is radical. It's about facing yourself and the truth. It's about not making things look pretty from a certain angle, but showing all of the angles. We all have things about ourselves and our lives we'd rather that others not see, but hiding is just pretending, and pretending isn't radical--it's a way of whistling in the dark that keeps our best lives at bay.
4. Look at the numbers. Tackle your accounting every month. Look at the scale, your glucose numbers, your blood pressure. A lot of times, we pretend that things are better than they really are. We think that if we really, really look at the facts we won't be able to bear it, that we'll be unlovable, so we look away, gloss over the ugly parts. But the truth is, we are safe and we are lovable. You are stronger and more capable than you think--and with the facts, you can do something to change those numbers to your favor one little tweak at a time.
5. Seek out rejection daily. Deep breath. Dig out the freak-out-scary-what-I-would-do-if-only-list. You know: open an Etsy shop, sing on stage, audition for that play, write that book, submit that work, ask that person that burning question. Do it. Every. Single. Day.
What would your life look like a year from now if you did one thing everyday that could possibly lead to rejection? What would your life look like, if instead of trying to avoid humiliation, we walked towards it? Because I guarantee you, sometimes you will fail--but many times, you won't!
And I'll tell you what. You'll be different. Your life will be too, radically so. And me and mine too.
By HOW, pray tell, does a girl actually DO these things? Where does a girl find the courage to live like this?! I'll save that for the next post, so stay tuned!
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Wonderful, wonderful post, Jan. The artwork is amazing as usual!
Posted by: Lesley Riley | January 26, 2014 at 11:29 AM
Amen sister! Write on! Write on.
Posted by: Crystal | January 27, 2014 at 09:21 AM