{ Original and Print available at my Etsy shop! }
True story. So I’m home during my lunch break, dreading my afternoon responsibilities and the article by Steven Pressfield a friend forwarded to me earlier, is beginning to loose it’s edge. Earlier you see, it had gobsmacked me upside the head and made me cringe at the truth of it. The way I’m wandering around passively “letting my day run me, instead of running my day”, except, if I’m totally honest with you, those days have turned into whole freaking months and those months have become years of my LIFE. So, by lunchtime, I’m starting to rationalize my life and feeling comfortable again about where I am with my art and why.
And then I flip on the TV (which I never do), and there’s Robert Irvine giving it to a pair of restaurant owners, telling them:
“Look, either you are IN or you are OUT. So which is it? Are you IN or are you OUT?!”
And I swear Robert was talking to ME.
“Dammit, I'm IN, IN I TELL YOU!!!” I say to myself (and to Robert).
So my gut says, “Well then ACT like it! Get out there and do whatever you need to do to. GET. THIS. DONE. If you are waiting for it to get less risky, or easier or failure-free, forget it, you are not really IN.”
So now, I am having a whole conversation with my gut and the guy on TV.
I know what I have to do. I’ve known for a long time now.
1. Make that phone call.
2. Finish that Kickstarter project I started.
3. Make a plan and set SMART goals to achieve my art goals by May 2013.
4. Design and send out self-promo materials.
5. Find an agent.
6. Finish that book draft.
7. Work on my long neglected Etsy shop.
and no more rationalizing, waiting and stalling, because I’m IN, dammit, IN!
Are you?
Oh lady i SOOOO feel you!!!
I go through this terrible ups and downs, drowning in too many options and not nearly enough to fit my art into! And end up feeling like i'm in a ball pit and can't get out! I start too many things, get overwhelmed and then evacuate!
Keep your head up though lady! Your art is SUPERIOR!! Seriously. You are SO talented. I know once you get your butt going and in gear the right direction, opportunities will come!! I have faith in you!!!
If you ever need an accountability partner let me know!!
Your MATS friend,
Jenipher
Posted by: Jenipher | December 06, 2013 at 04:23 PM
Thank you soooo much! It really helps to know I'm not alone!!!!!! I have so much more to say...hugs for now. I'll be in touch soon! Jan
Posted by: Jan AVELLANA | December 06, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Love this post! You are speaking to me!
Posted by: Lynda | December 07, 2013 at 03:58 AM
I'm IN! Right with you! Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid.
Posted by: Amanda Jolley | December 08, 2013 at 01:05 PM
May I suggest Jan that you already are IN, you seem to me to always be IN.
It's my experience that those feelings of not being IN or being OUT are just the feelings that are there to remind you how much you LOVE being IN. Much like the idea if you never feel SADNESS how would you recognize JOY ?
Have you read or listened to anything by Anne Lamott ? She is my new HERO, youtube has many fantastic book chats in which she talks about the ongoing, never ending, struggle of the creative spirit + she's very successful & funny as all get out. I listen to her talks on youtube over and over again - she soothes me and comforts those demons (we all have them). I am beginning to truly believe no matter how much "success" we might achieve, no matter how productive & prolific we become, that carrot dangling in front of us is a continually moving target - the secret is about managing those demons of feeling OUT of it because they will never go away completely.
Rock On You !! much love from far away Nova Scotia
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=anne+lamott&sm=1
Posted by: susan | December 09, 2013 at 03:03 AM