{ you are absolutely loved :: original mixed media, © jan avellana }
our family has a tradition. we ask our kids, “when does mama and daddy love you?” and they answer, “all the time.” hugs ensue. if they want tickles, they’ll squeal “sometimes” and scurry away, knowing the truth full well.
and when are we as adults lovable? all the time. yes, all the time. even when we are a mess, even when we have nothing to give anyone, even when we are needy and weak and not the best version of ourselves—especially, then. except, it’s hard for other broken human beings to love us through and through even when we’re at our best, and it’s certainly harder for others to love us when we are at our worst. i know, because i am often on the other end of the loving; i get tired, impatient and my love doesn’t look unconditional to those around me.
in these times especially, i look for the love of my Heavenly Father. i know i can rest in Him.
lately, i’ve been really struggling and not gracefully, i might add. no, i’ve just been a puddle. the depression that invades my life—at times more than others—has become increasingly difficult to cope with and it has forced me to finally get some help. it has taken years for me to come to terms with my inner anguish and even people closest to me don’t always get a clear sense of the painful inner life i sometimes inhabit...but it’s there. if you suffer from depression, you know what i’m talking about.
the good news is, i’ve taken my very first steps at dealing with this head-on for the first time in my life. it’s a long road ahead, but i’ve begun. it’s scary to admit to yourself and even to your loved ones that you need help, but the truth is that all of us need help sometimes. it’s okay not to be able to do it alone—it’s totally okay to ask for help. i am learning to surround myself with people who love me just as i am, people i don't have to defend myself to, people i don’t have to perform for.
you don’t have do be perfect, you don’t need to do anything more to be loveable. you can just be you. with all of your flaws and warts. really. truly. lay the rest down.
i know at my core that i am loveable, even now, especially now. as are you. you are absolutely loved.
