i opened up shop on etsy under the brand name “hazelnut cottage” nearly 5 years ago. my boys where much littler then...my older one was just about 2 1/2 and my younger son was about 3 months old. time has truly flown.
as my business (and children) grew, so did the demands of my daily life; the lanudry, the dishes, the homework, the new school routines...a growing retail and wholesale indie business that began on my dining room table and has spilled over into every nook and cranny of my unbalanced life. and since my plate never got any larger, i found that in order to keep going, i had to stack things higher and higher, until each tower of “stuff” began to wobble and shift with even the slightest breeze.
well, this week--the week before i am set to launch my new etsy shop and website--is the week the piles began to topple over. i’m still here, but have reached a point of burn out. oh, i saw it coming, from a looooooong way off. i saw all the signs, but stubbornly chose to look the other way, insisting all the while that i couldn't possibly have an emotional meltdown because i had so much important stuff to do.
so as counterintuitive as it is, and perhaps, as foolish as it might seem on the surface (especially now that i am launching this new site), i am pulling back. i just can't go at the rate i was going. i was running myself into the ground and i just can't do it anymore.
i am going to work less, a lot less. i am going to stay offline more. i am going to sleep a whole-heck-of-A-LOT more. i am going to eat better and i am going into 'agressive self-care' mode. and instead of so much striving and fleshing it out, i am learning minute by minute to trust God more. learning to let go, to unclench and learning what it means to rest, to really rest in Him. so much of the reason i strive is because i have financial worries; real concerns, so i honestly don’t know how these new changes will play out in my life. all i know is, if i don’t make these changes yesterday, i won’t be around for very long to see (or worry!) about any of it
...deep breath...this requires one baby step at a time...
“He says, “be still, and know that i am God...” ~psalm 46:10 (niv)
