i am in the throes of transition here...and because of this, i have been hiding my deepest thoughts and feelings from this blog—the place that has always been just for me and you—a place we can be real and safe and imperfect and messy. over the 4 years i’ve been keeping this here blog, i somehow i got and believed the message that i’m not supposed to talk about the hard, messy stuff until i was over it—through it—if you know what i mean, and on the other side.
but the in between spaces of our lives last a long time sometimes, and what i’ve been waiting and waiting to do is to get to the 'other side' so that i could talk about it with all of you.
well, i’ve just about decided i’m over it. in this space right here between you and me is the space we can feel loved while we are in the process of becoming…yes, even the awkward 1-step-forward-2-steps-back kind of places, even the places of shame and embarassment and failure and pain that we haven’t quite moved through yet. this is the place, right here, right now. no more waiting.
you know?
so what’s really been going on over here is that i just began a new job last week. a new job from an old career that i left behind seven years ago when my oldest son was born. i am teaching again, but just part-time and just at a temporary post until christmas break. the time i spent teaching was bittersweet; i found out how much i enjoyed working with the children—and thankfully, still do, but the rest of it stretched me beyond my God-given giftings and make-up. through the challenges, a funny thing happened, though. i was able to reclaim the fact that i was and am an artist and it’s been a long road back ever since.
i am learning to live with my heart and hands wide open. i am learning to live on my knees. i am learning to trust God even in the inbetween spaces of becoming when i am neither confident nor elegant nor. i am learning that i love who i am, that i love my life as an artist, and that i have a deep passion for encouraging others.
i never thought i’d be teaching again, even just part-time for a few months. it’s amazing the things God will redeem in our lives if we are open to Him. i have no idea how this is all going to work, especially with my new shop opening in just a few weeks, so please bear with me. i’m bound to make all kinds of mistakes and look quite silly in my feeble first attempts at making these transitions in my life. (make sure to tell me if i have a trail of toilet paper sticking to my shoe, please!)
hugs for the journey,
