Thought #3: Embrace Change.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole Franc
Isn’t it funny how a part of us longs to be different, to grow, to change, to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be? And yet, so much of us wishes to remain the same…not have to give up our comfort, our habits, our old ways of doing and being in the world. It’s as if we want both things at the same time; we want to be the butterfly without having to go through the cocoon stage of metamorphosis.
I know this is often the case in my life.
I find that I usually resist change out of fear. Maybe it’s the same for all of us. Perhaps there are parts of significant parts that we keep hidden so that we appear likeable and acceptable among friends, and loveable and perfect for our mate. Perhaps we remain in unhappy (okay, miserable) jobs, or relationships or what-have-you situations because the risk of stepping into the unknown is worse, or it would be so much work and hardship and staying where we are and the way we are is so much…well…easier and more comfortable in a way…and so we stay. We stay put, we stay nice and likeable, we stay unchanged and soon we are unchangeable, our hearts partly deadened to the passions and opportunities we once believed were possible. Sometimes, there seems to be good reasons for keeping change at bay; perhaps the risk is too great, the children are too young, the art too unprofitable, the relationship to new or too good to mess with.
All these things may have some truth in them, to be sure. But in our quiet hearts, when we stop to listen to what we have to say to ourselves, the voice is loud and clear. “Go for marriage counseling,” it says unashamedly…“Paint that picture, sing that song,” it says boldly…“Be honest with yourself, be honest with him,” the voice will encourage, “Set a real example for your children, not a carefully faked one,” it pleads honestly.
In my own life, one of the saddest revelations I have made, is that time goes on, whether or not we chance it. The fact that we choose not to make a deliberate choice in matters at hand—is still—a choice. And a year, or two or ten goes by and what we have laid out before us is our life…a life full of the choices we have made, full of chances not taken and a self-unknown.
And we know (boy do we know), even though we’d rather not go there…you know?
As Andy Dufresne said to Red so eloquently in The Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
The road we have traveled is behind us. We can (and it is good to) grieve over the lost years (I have and still do), mourn the wasted opportunities, the chance to say “Yes” to life, to ourselves, to God. And this is necessary and in time, will help to bring healing.
But there is more. There is the road that lays before us, right this very day. Full of opportunities for us to try something new, to be more real with ourselves, our loved ones…to live authentically as artists and as people. We have this day to speak what it is we really need to say (not just what they want to hear), to make the art that is asking to be made without thought to how it will be received. Yes, things may be different. It may get dicey for a while, life may get harder and worse instead of easier and better for a while. That’s okay…growing is hard work and sometimes, painful. Dare to live a more authentic life, dare to really, really live today (‘cause gonna be a long time until those babies are grown, let me tell you, and there’s a lotta living and a lotta artmaking to do in between now and then!) ;) Embrace change!
What healthy, good changes have you been resisting in your
life? What’s been holding you back?
Next Week Monday: Seek Joy, Not Comfort.
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