Thought #2: Know What is Important to You (Defining Your Core Values)
Etsy Mom, Jan Avellana here, at Hazelnut Cottage ;) Welcome to Thought #2 in our ten part series, “The Indie Artist/Etsy Mom’s Guide to Maintaining Sanity”! When was the last time you really sat down and in solitude, gave this some thought? When we understand the “big picture” of who we are and what we value, it helps us make the little every day choices and in the end we create a meaningful and rich life for ourselves and our families. And, it can help maintain sanity because you are not constantly waffling trying to please everyone. (Not that this describes any of US!)
To begin, ask yourself, “What are my core values? Who and what are the people, beliefs, ideas, things and experiences that I honestly hold most dear?” if you are stuck, this link contains a list of values (http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm) that might help you in creating your own personal list.
Chris Guileebeau’s site really says all of it better than I could, so for much more on this topic (and other neat resources), try going to his site.
Now, for some of us, this is exciting! For others, reflecting on what is truly important to us, and then looking at how our daily lives line up with our core values can reveal things we’d rather not deal with. Perhaps in this season you are so overwhelmed with life, and in your attempts just to make it through each day you’ve allowed yourself to slip into some unhealthy coping mechanisms that don’t reflect your true values and you’d really rather not go “there”. Fear not.
Today you get to start fresh. (And the truth is, every moment is a chance to start fresh!)
Pencil and Paper Time: Things to remember…this is the way I’ve devised that works for me. You may find that this is too structured for you…or, not structured enough. This space is for YOU, to encourage you to live a thoughtful, deliberately chosen life, so feel free to do what works for YOU.
1. Okay, start by listing your top ten values (I know ten sounds like a lot, but trust me, once you get started, it will be hard to narrow down your life to just ten!), the people, beliefs, ideas, things and experiences that you honestly hold most dear and find yourself—at least striving to—live out every day. You may not live these values out perfectly; no one does. But this is where we start. As you grow and change, so will your list. Make a commitment to invest in yourself for one guilt free hour today and have fun with it, then share your heart with us! Here are mine:
Jan’s Core Values:
- Value 1: God and People Instead of Things
- Value 2: Encouraging Others
- Value 3: Authenticity
- Value 4: Time and Experiences
- Value 5: Deep Relationships
- Value 6: Bravery Over Comfort
- Value 7: Living with Passion
- Value 8: Home
- Value 9: Truth and Kindness
- Value 10: Meaningful Creative Work that Has the Power to Transform Others
2. Now, write a statement—a paragraph—that shows what living
out your values looks like. To do this, I simply chose to write “I will”
statements, showing my intent to live out these values:
V1. Each morning when I awake I will connect with my Father, expressing gratefulness and a renew my joy in my life’s choices to be a work at home mom, so that I can spend as much time mama-ing my wee ones. V2. I will express love for my family and the people I encounter today by enjoying them in the moment, by giving them my attention, quantity and quality of time, love and encouragement. I will express self-love by practicing kindness and good self-care. V3. I will encourage others by being authentic—real and honest with myself and with others—about my fears, my failures, my successes, my hopes, my dreams, my preferences, my needs. V4/V5. I will live a life that is simple, a life that is not about accumulating things or pleasing people, one that allows me time to enjoy being a mom, to enjoy making art, to revel in being alive and enjoy deep and intimate relationships. V6/V7. I will choose bravery, healthy risks, and passion for life, over comfort. V8. I will create a warm, welcoming home for myself and my family and friends that celebrates beauty, safety and a respite from the world. V9. I will strive to speak words of truth and kindness to everyone I meet, that I may pour out as much grace on others as God has lavished on me. V10. I will live my life with passion and realness so that I might be used to inspire and transform others and be a light to help them discover the life God has for them in Jesus.
Now, the truth is, I live out my values in a sporadic, inconsistent manner. For most of us, we may find—that in the beginning at least—that we aren’t living out the values we profess very well at all. Remember dear woman, life is not about perfection, but about the living, the trying, the failing and the rising up to try again. We are all works in process, in progress and so too, our lives. The thing is to do the work of knowing what we really want to be about and then chart our course from there! For others of us, we may find that our statement affirms that we are indeed living our best lives. Hooray! Either way, celebrate the fact that you are alive today, right now and let us begin anew, in this moment, shall we?
May your statement help guide us as we journey through our lives and the myriad of decisions that govern our day, from the mundane to the truly risky. This is an exercise in helping us know what we want to be about and there are clues and rich lessons gained simply by going through this process of reflection. I pray that our personal statements would be “a light, when all others fail” (a quote from Galadriel to Frodo). When we get lost, may it be a compass to help point the way back to ourselves, the way back home.
What are you about? Grab a cuppa cocoa and tell us! Share your list of values and your statements here! ALL are warmly welcome to join our community!
Next Week Monday: Embrace Change.
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